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Hey good people!
** 14 and 46 **
My daughter spotted this photo of my 14 year old self at my dad’s house last week and was completely enamored.
“Look at you and how amazing you are. You put your own style and flair together. That’s where I get my shit from, Mama — you passed that creativity and individuality down.”
Wow. That’s a supreme compliment coming from your 17 year old child. I used to look at that photo endearingly, but also thinking I dressed myself like a 1980s romantic but sassy pilgrim girl — lol.
And maybe I did, but I can remember what went into those outfits at that age and the expression of myself. I could name where every piece of that look came from.
I know I got my hair cut at Blades.
I dyed my brown hair that sort-of blonde color with a boxed hair coloring kit.
The shirt and jacket came from my mom’s closet.
The pearls from a discount store called Zayre’s (remember that shit?! lol).
The earrings came from a vintage store in my Highlands neighborhood called The Cubby Hole (it’s a coffee shop now).
It was very thoughtfully curated because I needed it to speak for me as much as my own verbal voice.
I look at 46 year old me and realize I’ve come back around to that in the past few years.
The hair is cut and bleached by my friend Gina Scarpino, the psychic hairdresser.
The eyebrows! Lol – no more 14 year old eyebrows. I get them waxed and tinted by my ladies at Clique Boutique.
The dress was carefully chosen on a website I troll with up-and-coming designers.
Those earrings were also found online after I saw a $700 pair just like them on a trip to Martha’s Vineyard. I paid 97% less than that — lol.
I had that black and white dress tailored within an inch of its life when the shipment arrive so it was really, really mine : ) and not something simply off the rack.
I kind of forgot how much my 14 year old self taught me about how to be. She was pretty outspoken with her clothes and her thoughts. I got away from that for awhile, but it came back around.
I ask a lot of my clients that: “what would your 13 or 14 year old self do?“ — and some women say they don’t trust looking back at that part of themselves, but many of them say they saw the world with more possibility or they were a little more brave.
Maybe somewhere between ages 10 – 14, we started to turn down the volume on ourselves and that makes me sad; but my daughter finding that photo and her reaction reminded me that the spirit of who I was before the world tried to tell me how / who I should be is still there.
I see her.
I bet there’s a photo somewhere in the world where you could see you, too.