Core Desired Feeling: Brave

What if, at first, we got really clear on how we actually wanted to feel in our life and then laid out our intentions? What if your most desired feelings consciously informed how you plan your day, your year, your career, your holidays — your life?

That’s the crux of creating your Desire Map and it’s a process I’m guiding a group of women through in a day-long workshop/retreat on Saturday, April 4th, in Louisville.

Registration is open and I want you to be there. This is the golden ticket — it’s poetic- meets-practical life planning.

Each day this week, I will share one of my five Core Desired Feelings and what that looks like in “real life” for me. On deck today? Brave. 

BRAVE collage

1. having or showing courage
2. excellent, splendid
3. feeling or displaying no fear

I take issue with one part of that definition. I don’t think being brave is “feeling or displaying no fear.” For me, being brave is knowing I feel afraid or anxious and meeting it head-on.

I was meeting with a client last year who said her perception of me was that I was a fearless risk-taker who embraced life without reservation or hesitation.

do embrace life and I have taken risks, but I have experienced worry, doubt and have wanted to walk away from certain situations. Here’s what I know about being brave — for me, it’s about being comfortable with being uncomfortable.

I’ve been courageous throughout my life, but up until five years ago, I spent a lot of time tormenting myself about choices in my life.

Stepping into bravery has meant trusting myself more.

Seeing my willingness to be vulnerable as wise courage.

Letting myself have fun and fumble.

Showing up.

Showing off instead of hiding.

Asking myself “how can I?” instead of “why can’t I?”

Bravery led me through the birth of one child, four miscarriages after that, and finally, the adoption of another child born 5000 miles away.

I felt brave when I went to Paris by myself a couple of years ago.

I felt brave and uninhibited in a photo shoot in Paris where I was strutted around in my underwear, and later, wearing absolutely nothing.

It was brave to close my therapy practice this year and decide I was going to coach my ass off because it’s what I love the most.

To me, bravery has a reputation for being no-nonsense — having an iron will and unwavering sense of resolve.

I think bravery is born of love.  It’s as much about seeing the softness and light of life as much as it is about the guts and steel.

And it’s about unwavering loyalty to who you want to be more than it is about rigidly sticking to a imagined outcome.

What’s the bravest decision you’ve ever made or direction you’ve taken in your life?

Were you afraid or anxious?

How did you come to terms with that as you moved forward? 

What comes to mind if I ask…

  • If I could change one thing in my life without fear of what people would say, think or do, it would be…
  • In my daydreams / fantasies, I imagine myself as a woman who…

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