Core Desired Feeling: Connection

What if, at first, we got really clear on how we actually wanted to feel in our life and then laid out our intentions? What if your most desired feelings consciously informed how you plan your day, your year, your career, your holidays — your life?

That’s the crux of creating your Desire Map and it’s a process I’m guiding a group of women through in a day-long workshop/retreat on Saturday, April 4th, in Louisville.

Registration is open and I want you to be there. This is the golden ticket — it’s poetic- meets-practical life planning.

Each day this week, I will share one of my five Core Desired Feelings and what that looks like in “real life” for me. On deck today? Connection.



1. the act of connecting
2. the state of being connected
3. a relation of personal intimacy

 I’ve thought of a million different ways to write about this, but it just comes down to this: When I love, I love. 

For all of my INFP ways where I want to camp out in my bed with my books and my computer (that’s a personality profile type, for those of you who aren’t familiar – introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving), there’s also a big part of me that craves connection with people.

And that goes from a greeting or conversation with a store employee to those people I text a “good morning” message to every single day, or a girlfriend I meet every month for dinner (come snow or high water). It’s the way I talk to my daughter on the way home from school or my husband on the way to the gym.

For me, connection isn’t just about me being fulfilled by reaching out and getting to talk to someone; it’s about really seeing another human being and understanding something about who they are — even if it’s for just a moment.

For as much energy as it takes for me to rest and recharge after I do something like speak to a group of people or host a workshop where I’m at the helm the entire time, I crave those experiences.

It makes me feel alive and happy to share laughter with other people and to share stories where we learn we have deeply rooted commonalities that we might never have guessed otherwise. That is very special to me.

And there’s a whole other facet of connection for me that I’m embracing more than ever, and it’s playful connection. I want to have fun with people. I’m in love with going to my gym because I am connected to some great people there who are fun to be with each day. And our friendships have grown into spending time together by going out or going to each other’s homes and seeing what our “other” lives are like.

Connection has offered me a window into wellness that I didn’t know was kind of closed for me up until a few years ago. Although I’ve always had cherished friends in my life, I didn’t spend much time with them. I was connected to my family and my clients,  but a little isolated socially in some ways.

During the times in my life when I’ve struggled with some form or depression or anxiety, that sense of isolation was cavernous and just seemed to make the grayness of some days darker.

When part of my plan to keep myself mentally healthy also involved physical activity, I began to meet people connected to that. This has given life a buoyancy and a sense of joy that kind of surprised me. And it’s also brought me greater joy than I ever thought possible.

I still pile into bed with my books and laptop each day — but filled with love for lots of beautiful souls who have come into my life in recent years. I’m so grateful I’ve given that to myself.

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