Evolve or Revolve?


*This powerful question is brought to you by @womenontopp via Instagram.

When I feel stuck and like I’m going in circles, I sometimes start by looking for the “big issue” that’s fueling the feeling. I’ll lump together weeks or months of things I didn’t do, or results I didn’t get that I wanted.

I’ll create a big, sweeping thought that I just didn’t have enough time, resources or motivation to get where I wanted to be, and I hope that the next week or month will be better.

Looking at my life like it’s a big, messy ball of yarn has really gotten me is more of the same — revolving in frustration.

If I want to evolve, it’s going to mean that I unravel that stuff and look at the details of what’s going on.

I coach myself and my clients to understand or create the big picture of life by looking at the day-to-day.

  • What are your rhythms and routines each day? What do you do when you wake up?
  • Who and what do you have to take care of? Where do you fit in with all of this?
  • What do you eat? What do you wear? What’s your commute like?
  • What’s your workday like? How do you transition out of it and move into the next part of your day?
  • Do you make plans to exercise at some point in your day?
  • Is there some time for reflection each day (and I’m talking about at least 5 quiet minutes by yourself — even if you have to sit in your car to do this before you go into the house and take care of everything and everyone else). Everyone can find at least 5 minutes, and if you think you’re the exception, then you need to check yourself and ask if that’s really true or a story you’re creating and perpetuating.

When you look at the details of your day-to-day, you will find the clues for what you need to do to change or improve your life. Instead of thinking you need to overhaul everything all at once — your job, your body, your career, your relationships — you can break things down into simple and significant power moves that will uplevel your life, one choice at a time.

When you stay consistent and committed to those changes, that’s how you change or even transform your life.

I once had a client who wanted to lose over 100 pounds and reclaim her health and energy. She told me she felt like she was going in circles with herself — losing a few pounds and gaining that weight (or more) right back.

She sat in my office, put her head in her hands and proclaimed that everything she was doing was “wrong” and she would never crack the code to reach her goals.

First of all, whenever you catch yourself thinking or saying that “everything” is wrong, horrible, broken, ruined or you have no choices, stop and remind yourself that you’re trapping yourself in a pattern of “all or nothing” thinking.

It’s your mind following a familiar path of perceived failure. You can work to change that. You can make your brain work differently.

My client and I had to dismantle that damaging thought process and see what was going right.

We looked at her day-to-day life — hour by hour — to see what it was like to be her. How was she taking care of and supporting herself each day?

It was then that we could see that she was living on a cup of coffee each day and that lunch usually consisted of either nothing at all or pastries leftover in the break room.

When she came home, she was exhausted and ravenous, which made her more vulnerable to overeating because her body craved energy and nourishment.

She also needed nurturing due to her high-stress job, so she used food as a way to soothe herself late into the evening until she finally went to bed feeling guilty, bloated and defeated.

When we looked at each hour and each meal — and especially each thought about all of this and the rest of her day — we got clues for why she was revolving and not evolving.

Then, we designed and implemented one simple and significant change at a time to get her on track for living her life as the woman she wanted to be.

It started with taking a 15 minute, non-negotiable break for lunch each day — something she prepared the night before and brought with her.

It also meant that she had to change the thought that she had no time to eat and that she was in such high demand that she had to be visible and available to everyone on her staff at all times.

This was so ingrained in her that she even put off going to pee during the day until it was almost an emergency situation.

That’s no way to live.

It’s not.

And if you’re in a place in life where you can’t fuel and nourish your body for 15 uninterrupted minutes or let yourself go to the bathroom out of fear that you will miss something or everything will go wrong if you’re not present, then you’ve got some work to do.

That is unless you want to be on your deathbed, holding the hands of your loved ones and saying, “I wish I had spent more time at work, stretching my mental and physical health to dangerous limits for the company’s bottom line.”

I’ve never had a single client tell me that’s how they want it all to end. Ever.

Take a look at your life, and if you’re frustrated, exhausted, sick and tired and not sure where to start to help yourself change — examine your daily existence and see where you’re hitting a wall and feeling stuck.

The evolution will come from small daily revolutions.

When it comes to evolving, I am a woman who walks the talk.

What I know for sure is that it’s all about progress versus perfection.

There’s a lot of day-to-day evolution that happened in between those 2010 and 2016 photos.

I am on a mission to help women create and implement a plan to live their happiest, healthiest lives — one day at a time.

I’m a self-proclaimed “triple threat” wellness professional (therapist, life coach, fitness professional) so I cover just about everything when it comes to mind, body and spirit.

Want to find out more about how to work with me? Click here to schedule a free phone consultation.

Join the Conversation

(Your email address will not be published.)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.