Last weekend, my husband and I were coming home from a date, talking about all of the changes swirling around us right now.
Good things are happening, but it’s been a long road, and it’s stressful at times.
It’s a process of diligence and patience, and I tell myself I’m not very good at that.
Bobby is — lol — but I balance out his steadiness with my freakouts : ).
I’m always coaching myself and getting present.
I’m always envisioning and manifesting a bright future when the doubts creep in.
I write down my thoughts.
I talk to myself in my car and tell myself stories of success (seriously, I do — if you see me driving down the road and no one else is in the car, that’s what is happening).
It’s a lot of damn work.
My brain gets tired, but I keep going.
Getting out of our car with my husband that Friday night, I said this:
“Yes, at this point, sometimes my top go-to coping mechanisms are fitness and candy. And I’m okay with that.”
That’s my duality right now — what I think of as the light and shadow sides of a therapist and coach who works with women on their mental health and overall wellness — who teaches them how to look for joy and comfort in other places outside of food.
Most days, there’s me in a HIIT class at the gym burning up my heart rate monitor, daring myself to do more, and knocking it out like Muhammad Ali.
I have a mental and physical toughness right now that is unrivaled when compared to any other era of my life.
And some days, there’s me in bed with a container of those square jelly candies from Trader Joe’s at the end of the day watching The Devil Wears Prada for the 27th time. Or maybe those Russell Stover’s mini coconut eggs my husband found me for Easter.
Some days are both me coming in 4th place out of 47 people in a CycleBar spin class AND cutting little pieces of brownie out of a pan over and over again.
Neither scenarios feel fucked up or binge-y to me. There’s really no shame.
I’ll even tell my family, “I’ll be in our room – watching TV and eating my emotions for a little while.”
My workouts are medicine and I can’t wait to do them every day. I am very connected to my body and know what it needs, what it’s capable of, and when it needs rest.
My indulgences — my treats — my sugar — whatever you want to say about that — are a companion I’m consciously choosing right now.
I know what I’m doing — straddling this line between watching Meryl Streep say “that’s all…” for the 27th time while knowingly unwrapping and eating a third coconut egg.
I feel the foil in my hands and know I have to put it in my mouth within a certain amount of time before it starts to melt.
I’m there … and I check out a little bit.
The fullness is comforting … but not really.
I ask myself why I do this, and the answers are that I feel like it’s soothing or I can decompress after my long days.
I’ve felt guilty and know there are other ways to snuggle up with myself and love on me.
I have tried to make it out to be something “wrong” with me, but I love myself too much to do that anymore.
I’m bored with the story that someone as amazing as me is defective in any way.
I’ve decided that when I want to tap the brakes on it a little bit, I will.
I know I don’t have to wait for my life to change to do that. I can decide at any time.
The key for me is what I teach others:
- Be aware. Be conscious.
- Know your why. If you aren’t sure, keep asking. Write about it.
- Don’t beat yourself up. You have your reasons right now. It’s okay.
It’s okay to be all of the things.
It’s okay to not have the perfect strategies for personal growth all of the time.
It’s okay to kill it in the gym.
It’s okay to eat candy in bed.
It’s okay to be a woman that does both, be a little perplexed by it … and still be pretty damn happy.
Registration for my Wings group coaching program opens Tuesday, April 23rd at 6:00 AM EST.
You’ll get an email at 6:00 a.m. EST to let you know that “the doors are open,” so look for that.
The program begins on Wednesday, May 1st.
With Wings you’ll get:
- Eight one-hour, weekly live classes taught via a private Zoom classroom; all classes will be recorded and can be watched at any time throughout or after the program as many times as you wish. They are yours to keep.
- There will only be 10 spots in the program, so you get the devotion and attention you deserve from me as well as the connection with up to 9 other like-minded women who are on the journey with you to uplevel their lives.
- All materials and resources you need — worksheets, links, any books or other resources I bring into the mix. I like to send my people fun surprises, too, so anticipate that, as well.
- Each participant gets three 1:1 coaching sessions with me. Yes, you get your group classes, but we will work together 1:1 to tailor this program to your specific needs. If you live in my area, we can do those sessions in my St. Matthews area office (or by phone or Zoom video sessions). If you’re out-of-state / out-of-the-country, we will have phone or Zoom video sessions.
- A secret Facebook group where the group can congregate and communicate privately in between classes. You will discuss what you’re learning, share your challenges, encourage, and support one another. I will be in that group each day checking in and coaching when needed via posts, comments and Facebook Lives.
- The option of a capstone dinner celebration for the entire group at a TBD location in my hometown of Louisville, Kentucky on Saturday, June 29th, 2019. This is a luxurious event where you get to dress up, meet your Wings classmates, meet me, if you haven’t already (yay!), enjoy a gourmet meal, celebrate your strides, and make plans for the future.
These are the dates for Wings program group classes and the dinner celebration:
Wednesday, May 1st, 2:00 PM EST
Thursday, May 9th, 7:00 PM EST
Thursday, May 16th, 7:00 PM EST
Thursday, May 23rd, 7:00 PM EST
Thursday, May 30th, 7:00 PM EST
Thursday, June 6th, 7:00 PM EST
Thursday, June 13th, 7:00 PM EST
Thursday, June 20th, 7:00 PM EST
*The celebration dinner in Louisville will be held on Saturday, June 29th.
Every participant will be able to schedule their 1:1 sessions with me via my private calendar.
The investment for the program by itself without the dinner is $1997.
If you decide to join the group for the dinner, the investment is $2294.
I am offering generous payment plans for either option.
Do you have questions about the Wings program?
I understand what a big deal it is to commit your time and treasure to something like this, and I want you to feel secure and certain that it is a good fit for you.
Some of the biggest strides I’ve made in my personal and professional life were the result of my involvement in group coaching. One-on-one work was also powerful — but here, I’m combining the two, and that’s an even more upleveled experience.
Do you want to chat with me and find out if it’s the place for you to land in terms of your personal growth and development?
Let’s set up a consult call or FaceTime chat to see if what I’m offering is a good fit for you. Choose a date and time on my calendar that works for you here.
You can also email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with any of your questions.
Have a great week!