I’m the crystal ball

That’s a beautiful shot captured by the lovely Whitney Neal in the fall of 2012

I was a newly licensed therapist, had just completed my life coach certification and was ready to create a business entirely my own that combined two of the things I do to help people live better lives.

The photos in this shoot were featured on my then-new website where people from Louisville and other points across the country and around the world could find out more about my work and how it could help them.

It’s five years later.

I’m still going and still growing.

Some things have surged ahead in ways I never even dreamed of, and other things have come full circle.

I’m still this woman sitting on the train tracks in her hometown, gazing downward and smiling at the possibilities — like she’s looking into crystal ball.

The difference now is that:

– I’d look you right in the eye with that same smile

– I know I’m the crystal ball

I don’t have all of the answers for what’s next, but I’m gathering clues.

Things are feeling like they’re stripped down in life. I thought this would be a time where I’d fall apart, but I’ve never felt more grounded in who I am in my entire life.

The lavish, platinum glamour I love so much remains — because I love that part of me. It’s not going away because it’s been dying to come out for all of these years.

That’s a mindset and a sense of spiritedness that really has nothing to do with my shoes, my eyelashes or gowns — those are just a way to play and be expressive. My heart and mind are the real hallmarks of my opulence.

And I look at the soft, but edgy, groundedness of myself in this 2012 photo, and I love her, too.

Some people have seen these photos from years ago said “I liked you better here” (yes, people say these things out loud). I’m not sure if they meant my physicality or something else.

What matters most for me, and for any other woman, I think (and hope), is that we get to change and decide how that’s going to happen and what it’s going to look like — from the inside out.

We’re shaped by so many experiences and choices, and the beauty of getting older is that the more people try to pin you down to one thing — maybe they even try to make you a caricature of yourself — the more you get to laugh in the face of that.

That’s confidence.


Strength of heart.

That’s lifting your head from looking at the ground and staring straight ahead with your smile, your brain, your actions, and your sense of self.

It’s been a summer where I’ve had to repeatedly and very intentionally lift my head every single day — sometimes on the hour — and ask for grace and direction.

The beauty of this five year old memory is that in the fleeting moment of a Facebook scroll, it reconnected me to something I’ve always known, but kind of forgot … and it’s relevant now in an entirely new way.

What’s in your crystal ball for the rest of this year? For 2018?

If you don’t feel the answers come right away, what are the clues around you that might give you some information or inspiration?

  • Do you feel disconnected from how you want to take care of yourself? Maybe you’re aces at work, but you’re feeling frustrated and lacking energy in other parts of your life.
  • Have you learned or started something new and want to see where it will take you — and you don’t want to waiver in your motivation?
  • Maybe that crystal ball is cloudy and you need some clarity to figure out what the next best step is. What is the next best step? It doesn’t have to be a big one; make it simple, yet significant.

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