Here’s what happens when my clients decide to choose feeling “engaged” with their lives versus “comfortable.”
In our sessions, clients will often give me a laundry list of reasons for why they aren’t taking care of themselves and their bodies the way they say they want to.
I always listen before I interrupt and derail their thought train because I’m looking for clues and I know I’ll get them. They’re often not even “clues” — they’re outright admissions that help me help them see what’s really going on.
I think what we’re doing is mining for diamonds in her mind. The “diamond” I find comes in the form of the language a woman uses when she’s offering me her inner narrative.
This language is formed by her thoughts, and my job is to ask her if those thoughts are serving her.
Are they getting her where she wants to be?
Are they created from a place of love and positive self-regard, or is she tearing herself down?
Here are a few examples of those “mind diamonds” from my current beautiful, smart, determined, on-fire roster of current clients. These women are digging in and working to create the best lives possible for themselves:
- “I just want comfort and convenience.”
- “I don’t have a choice.”
- “Why don’t I make shit happen?”
- “I can’t take care of myself the way I want to.”
- “I’ve quit other unhealthy habits, so why can’t I get rid of excessive sugar / carbs / bread / french fries and manage myself better?”
And what happens next is that I help a woman take a long, hard, loving look at what she’s telling herself.
We examine the thoughts she has and the language she uses and discusses the results she’s getting in her life connected to those. Are those thoughts serving her?
If she keeps having these thoughts and acting on them over and over, I often ask: “What’s the payoff?”
What is she getting out of living in this cage she has created?
When she begins to consider those questions, she comes to understand herself and can create a shift that opens the door to a whole new life.
If she wants it.
It looks something like this:
- “I want to be engaged with my life, and that is not always comfortable or convenient. And maybe that’s not such a bad thing.
- “I always have a choice. Not making a choice is still a choice.”
- “How can I make shit happen?”
- “I am willing and able to take care of myself the way I want to. I’m the captain now. ; )”
- “I will have a lifelong relationship with food and my body. I need it and it nourishes me. I didn’t need nicotine or alcohol. I can create a relationship with food that’s connected to power, living, thriving and celebrating. Food — even the foods I think I need to “ban” myself from — isn’t going away. And that’s good news.”
The result? One of my lovelies said it perfectly in a random text message she sent to me the other day:
“RADICAL SELF CARE FOR THE WIN!”
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.
If you recognized yourself in any of those thoughts above and want to break free from them so you can create a new lifestyle and relationship with your mind and body, I’ve got room to take on two 1:1 clients this July.
The work is powerful, pivotal and your life can change immediately, and in ways, I won’t be able to see years from now.
When women heal, grow and transform our lives, we change the world for generations.