The empress of your mind

Hey good people –


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Coaches and counselors (myself included) who do any kind of mindset or thought work often say this: 

“You are not your thoughts.” 

When I have painful thoughts and feelings and offer myself this thought, here’s my mind’s response: 

“They are me. Other people can untangle that, but I can’t.”  

I make myself an exception; I am basically telling myself I’m incapable or defective. 

Thoughts can be so consuming that they take up space in your body. For me:

  • My brain speeds up and piles on more thoughts.
  • My chest feels tight, my shoulders are hunched forward as a protective response; and my heart rate goes up. 
  • I also “name myself” after feelings instead of naming the feelings
      • “I am afraid.” versus “I feel afraid.”  

I’ve tried to control my mind and body by thinking, “You are not your thoughts, Laura.”

When you’re trying to help your brain out, you have to believe what you’re saying — even if it’s by a tiny thread.

When I came across this quote about letting go of my quest to control my mind and erasing thoughts, I actually gave an out-loud sigh of relief. 

It was a relief to think and believe that I could slow down and allow a painful thought and the feeling that comes with it. 

They could be a visitor with some important information, but they can’t overstay their welcome : ) . 

So what’s the big deal? Either thought I’ve shared with you is just language, right? They are a string of words. 

Yes, and words mean a lot, especially when you’re dealing with yourself and what you believe. 

“You are not your thoughts” might help you better process what’s going on in your mind if you get  in a mental spin cycle, and I’m glad if it does.

I made “You are not your thoughts” mean I had to stop my brain-train of troubling or painful thoughts. 

I heard it as a command to take control and shut down the mental disruption.

It was a relief to look at it from another angle. The same idea, but different language.  

I could quit the job of building a dam for things I didn’t want to go through my mind. 

Learning how to let my mind stop controlling me feels more like a process and an education versus  labor.  

It feels more curious and less frantic. 

Oh, the shit my brain comes up with is still there : ), I just deal with it in a different way.

Instead of telling a thought that elicits Panic to “get the f@*# out of my brain,” I open a mental door and say:

“Oh, you’re back again (sigh). 

Well, you can social distance over in that corner of the room, and we’ll talk about what’s going on, and what’s best for me. 

Then you gotta go.” 

And damn, Panic always forgets I really don’t want it around, and still comes back like a bad penny.

Every time it comes back, though, I remember that I’ll have a lot more energy if I allow it and stop pushing. 

Here’s a thought I love: 

Become the empress of your mind. 


The controller is a dictator that imposes and manipulates.  

The empress is powerful, capable and trusts herself. She oversees, yet allows.

Claim your personal sovereignty, girlfriend. 

Be the empress.


Adjust your crown and join me on July 13th for my 6 week online group coaching program …

Mind, Muscle and Miracles

  • Unpack your overloaded MIND of anxiety, doubt, fear and make room for
    • re-energizing your spirit
    • courageous conversation
    • really laughing out loud — no emojis or “lol”ing by text here
    • embodying the woman you want to be

I often say that my rough patches and darkest periods in life have “given me wisdom I did not ask for,” but I’m a warrior.

God knew I was too fly for getting wise by counting my gray hairs and blowing out birthday candles.

We all got wisdom we didn’t ask for when 2020 became a decade packed into six months (and counting). 

Now that you know what you know at this point, what are the possibilities? 

This is also the summer to learn a new body language. Put these words on lockdown: bad, start over, fix, guilty, cheat.

Put some MUSCLE into: respect, honor, energy, trust, strength.

A MIRACLE is defined as a “a marvel or something wonderful that defies logic.” If there was ever a time for creating miracles, it’s now. 

You can be at the helm of creating extraordinary personal and global changes that defy logic. It’s not a dare, it’s an opportunity. 

Many of the best things in my life came to be because:

  • it was a risk 
  • against all odds
  • a longshot
  • it was the absolute worst timing 

Listen, if you learn how to be the empress of your mind, that is a marvel. Defy your own logic of:

  • “I can’t…”
  • “This will never …”
  • “I should have..”
  • “I give up…”
  • “What’s the use?”

It’s some mighty work. 

And it’s also joyful and fun, because we need that now more than ever. 

Inspiration. Motivation. Challenges. Prizes. Silliness. Prizes. Top shelf prizes — no Laura Wagner LLC ink pens or stress balls. 

And payment plan options for alllll of my ladies. 

No FOMO or “I wish I could, but …” 

I want this for you. 

Isolation has become the norm this year, and we are meant to connect with each other. 

I don’t want any woman who wants to be a part of this to be left behind.

There’s more Mind, Muscle and Miracles details coming your way. 

Registration is coming soon!

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