The Truth About the Woman You Lied About


Deciding I’m too glam to give a damn.


This is for you if:

  • you revealed some part of yourself in a private or public way and found yourself on the receiving end of cutting judgment and the untruth-bombs of others.


  • you did something different, and maybe even vulnerable and brave — you made a change, made a statement, visited a place, bared your body, or your hopes and struggles —  and people gossiped, ranted, disapproved or — the worst — said you weren’t “real.”


  • you need a strong female voice (from a woman who once didn’t think of myself (or my voice) in that way) to remind you that you are absolutely right that all of the aforementioned stuff is wrong and it sucks — and to speak of it when you see or hear it, and say it needs to stop. It’s fucked-up disguised as “an opinion.”


  • and in that still-strong female voice of mine — I want to you know that:


~~~ if you’ve dealt with this kind of stuff, well — girlfriend, just know that these are the anthills of life that we sometimes encounter where we have to call it out, walk around it, and then proceed ahead.

Because we speak to mountains when we show up as we really want to in this life. We do not lower our eyes to the ground.

~~~ I see you, boo. Be you. It’s worth it. 

~~~ it is the ultimate freedom to begin (or continue) to believe that you’ve got you. That’s the best news. No one’s better qualified for your life than you, baby.



Last week, I took to video to let you in on the reason why my shoulders were a bit more square and my tone a bit more strident than usual.

It wasn’t a gossipy, ego-fueled rant. It was about being who we are. It was and is about the people who are uncomfortable with it. And, it’s about the people who try to shut us down because of it.

It’s a story about how possessing intellect, a desire to serve, a desire to make excellent money, and a desire to live beautifully are real and valid.

And just as real, is the personal story I shared about my inner fight earlier this month to rise and rally on behalf of my inner well-being.

And how all of that fits together.

People who use their keyboards as a sword to cut others down often don’t know the story — the whole story of the range and velocity of another woman.

What if they took a moment to consider that before they hit “post” and hate-bombed her life?

But the security and sheen of a laptop screen are alluring, and some feel they can say things in that forum that they’d never say to a woman’s face — positive and affirming things, even … and then the complete opposite of that.

I see too many people target a woman and go through a vicious cycle of:

  • admiration and this-person-can-do-no-wrong, followed by
  • trolling and cutting her off a the knees (rinse and repeat)

And I think that’s irresponsible and dangerous.

Instead of looking away, moving on, and creating their own shit, people display their judgments in diatribes or witch-hunt comments.

They reveal the unhealed parts of themselves and call it “discourse,” or “constructive criticism” or claim to be “the real woman here.”

I had some things to say about all of that. For all of us.

And I still stand by it.

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