What to do when life give you a question mark


There are worse things in life, but waiting to hear, know, do or see something important or life-changing is one of the worst kinds of restlessness. 

Have you ever been in a place in your life where you are doing your usual stuff and things remain the same each day — your routine hums along and you show up — yet, you know there is something on the horizon that will flip everything upside-down? A huge life change.

Maybe you know the possibilities of the outcome, but damn – it’s a question mark and you just have to wait.

It’s a circumstance you can’t really control, except for how you think about it.

Maybe it’s a job promotion or career change where you’re waiting for news.

I have one client who’s waiting to hear if she’s going to move halfway across the world in a few months.

Big stuff.

I have been there and I am there right now, actually. 

I can spend a lot of my time ruminating on what will happen, but that just makes me crazy. Attempting to predict the future is exhausting.

I try to stay present and lean into taking really good care of myself.

Life may change very soon, but the things that keep me grounded will pretty much remain the same.

I keep leaning into my most powerful thought for now: “Just keep going.”

Here are my tips if you’re in the “waiting room” of life and feel restless, anxious, confused or frustrated: 

  • If you don’t have them, set up some reliable and enjoyable or comforting routines for yourself. For me, that’s getting up really early every morning and going to have coffee at the same place every day. I see the same people. I almost always sit at the same table. It’s my reliable, safe and happy place that helps me focus on the present and pleasure. For you, it might be reading a morning meditation or listening to a podcast. Maybe it’s your coffee time or spending some time alone outside each morning. 
  • Move your body. Take a walk. Go to a group exercise class where you can dance, cycle or lift weights. You will clear your head as you focus on the movement and let go of at least some of the ruminating and uncertainty that might be filling up your brain.
  • Write it out. When you have all of those thoughts crowding your mind, they need someplace to go so you can find more peace or steadiness. Sometimes, you might be able to problem-solve when you’re putting pen to paper. At the very least, write a gratitude list of at least 10 things that are going right in your life. Being thankful for what you already have is a magnet for more abundance. 
  • Connect with people. Get some help if you need it. Don’t go it alone. There may be family members or friends who can talk you through the times that feel stagnant or frustrating. Hire a counselor or a coach to help you walk through challenging periods. They teach you how to manage your mindset, create a solid self-care plan and keep you focused on what’s possible versus the dead ends you are experiencing. 


  • “Well … something will happen.” The simplest of thoughts can be exactly the kind of perspective you need to reassure yourself in a moment. This one actually came from a construction worker who’s a family friend : ). I was at a social gathering where I was involved in a conversation where one person in the group was going over all of the possible outcomes of a situation and kept going in circles. Construction-worker-friend was quiet for a moment, nodded his head and said “well, something will happen” (earnestly — not just a brush-off). He’s right. That’s what you have to remember. Whatever road you’re on, something will come to pass. You might have some control in the situation; you might not — but as time goes by, you can be sure that something is going to happen and you’ll figure out what’s next. 

Whether you’re feeling stuck in the “in-between” or know you’re ready to launch into a new phase of your life, I’m here to help you sort through any and all of that and grow into the woman you want to be. 

We can work together to clarify what that means for you, and the goals and actions to take to realize that. 

I’ve helped hundreds of women work through depression, anxiety, health and body image, career transitions and transformations, relationship issues, among other things. 

If you’re at a crossroads in your life where you’re ready to have a champion, guide and accountability partner to help you move forward in your life, I’m here to help. 

All of us have one thing in common: 

We get just one precious life and we get to choose how we live it. 

Circumstances happen. 

We all have our triumphs and challenges; it’s what we decide to do with those that create a life versus and existence. 

Just keep going. 

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